


The Gays and Lance

by em0rion



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Highschool AU, M/M, broganes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2019-08-23 17:19:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16623164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/em0rion/pseuds/em0rion
Summary: A high school au for vld because why not





	1. Broganes or broGAYnes?

**Author's Note:**

> In case it wasn't obvious:
> 
> Lanceylance: Lance  
> Pigeon: pidge  
> Gordanramsey: hunk  
> Princessofpower: allura  
> Spacedad: shiro
> 
> Keith will come soon don't worry babes

> **_Lanceylance_ **created an untitled chat room.

 

 ** _Lanceylance_** added **_Pigeon, Gordanramsey,_** and _**Princessofpower**_ to the chat room.

 

 ** _Lanceylance_** named the chat room ‘the gays and me’

  


**_Lanceylance:_ **hey everyone!

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **yo what

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **hi!

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **Oh! Hi everyone!

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **arent I the only one here who's actually gay

 

 **_Lanceylance_ **: I though allura and hunk were both gay???

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **I'm bi.

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **I'm pan

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **well shit

 

 **_Lanceylance_ **renamed the chat room ‘me and the non straights’

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **dont you mean ‘the non straights and I’

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **tomato to-mah-to

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ ** is this a tea spilling group chat?

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **yes

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **spill ALL your tea

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **I don't think I have any tea to spill

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **hunk you hang out with the theater kids

 

 **_Lanceylance_ **: their literally the definition of tea

 

 **_Pigeon:_ ***they're

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **SHHHHHHH

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **no grammar nazis in my good christian minecraft server

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **I thought this was a groupchat?

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ ** it's a meme.

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **Oh.

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **and anyway I wouldn't rat on any of my friends!

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **this is a confidential chat bro no ones gonna rat on no one

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **i will, but only for a substantial fee

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **that's reassuring.

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ ** BUT I guess there's _some_ tea to be spilled.

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **ooo!

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **okay so

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **there's this new kid in our school play that just moved here from Texas!

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **and he's so cute but that's not the point

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **people are saying he moved here because he apparently got in this big fight with some kid at his old school.

 

 ** _Princessofpower_** : :0c

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **I know right!

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **and he's been hanging around Shiro a lot too! Some people are saying they're secretly lovers or something.

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **wait

 

 **_Lanceylance_ **: shiro

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **like

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **takashi shirogane???

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **only the coolest guy at our school?

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **hes like

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **my hero!!

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **and you called us gay

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **the admiration I have for takashi shirogane is purely platonic

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **sureeeeeeeee.

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **but yeah, that's him

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **didn't you used to date him, Allura?

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **only for like, a week!

 

 ** _Princessofpower_** : we're still friends though!

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **you know, ive been told I act like shiro before

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ ***wink wink*

 

 **_Gordanramsey_ **: who said that????

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **ur a fucking liar lance and u know it

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **anyway whats this kids name

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **Keith Kogane I think.

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **oh I know him!

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **hes in my world geo

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **pidge ur like 2 years younger than us how do u have the same class as a junior

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **being a child prodigy can get u far in life

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **pshh

 

 ** _Lanceylance:_ **whatever

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **anyway keith is like the definition of emo

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **he sits in the corner and broods all the time

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **but hes cool, although his hair kinda looks like a mullet

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **wait

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **did you have another epiphany, Lance?

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **shut up

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **hunk do you remember asshole with a mullet from skate camp?

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **you went to skate camp?

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **well yeah

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **ladies love a dude who skates

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **I don't think they do.

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **yeah I remember him! You declared him your “rival” cause all the girls were fawning over him instead of you.

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **no I declared him my rival because he was challenging me

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **he said like three words total to you the entire camp

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **he said it with his eyes

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **but hunk I thought u said that the kid was from texas

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **it was like an nationwide skate camp or something.

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **I can't really remember it that well, it was way back in 7th grade.

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **i stg if that mullet headed asshole is back

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **whoa rocky balboa cool it down a little there.

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **how about I add mr shirogane himself to the chat to end this debate once and for all

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **PIDGE NO

 

 **_Pigeon_ ** added **_Spacedad_ **to the chat

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **shiro don't scroll up but we need ur help

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **PIDGE YOU CANT JUST

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **SVDJDBDKDBD??????

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **shiro my mannnn

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **hello!

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **do i know any of you?

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **hello shiro!!

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **I'm here and the kid with a no homo crush on u is lance and then there's hunk and allura

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **there introductions out of the way

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **so I gotta ask

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **are you fucking keith kogane

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **oh god no

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **hes my stepbrother!

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **you never told me you had a stepbrother!

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **that’s because I just got him!

 

 **_Spacedad:_ ** his mom married my dad just this summer, so they moved here so they could live with us.

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **aw, that's nice!

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **is that all you guys needed me for?

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **yeah but you can stay if u want

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **we need at least one mature person to balance out lance

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **Hey!

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **hey!

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **allura ur on the cheer squad, and we already clarified hunk is too dramatic for his own good

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **:(

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **:/// fair.

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **how am I more mature than allura?

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **dont question me shiro

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **ill have you know im very mature!!

 

 ** _Princessofpower:_ **uh

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **sure….

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **lance no offense but you have the mental maturity of a 13 year old

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **:((((

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **i thought we were friends

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **we are

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **sadly

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **o shit it's like 3 am

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **language!

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **my profanity cannot be quelled

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **goodnight gays

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **and lance


	2. Spacedad lives up to his name

**6:00am, Monday**

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** Be sure to eat a healthy breakfast before school today!

 

 ** _Pigeon:_** im surviving on like 1 bottle of water, redbull, and nutella packets

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** :(((((

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** my mom made some bomb ass chile colorado

 

**_Gordanramsey:_ ** pack some for me please

 

**_Gordanramsey_ ** : your mom makes the best burritos

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** i gotchu fam

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** pidge did u do the work for Iverson

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** SHIT

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** language!

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** ill take that as a no then

 

**_Gordanramsey:_ ** I did it, you can copy my notes before the bell rings.

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** thanks hunk i owe u my life

 

**_Gordanramsey:_ ** I know you do.

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** yo who's coming to the party tonight at Nyma's house.

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** who's Nyma?

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** some girl lance is in love with

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** i am NOT

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** dude u were literally ranting about her to me the other day

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** but I gotta stay home tonight and watch over matt

 

**_Princessofpower:_ ** isn't he your *older* brother?

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** yeah but I gotta make sure he doesnt burn the house down trying to make a time machine again

 

**_Gordanramsey:_ ** again?????

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** yeah

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** okay so pidge is out

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** hunk hbu

 

**_Gordanramsey:_ ** sure, but only to make sure you don't get into trouble or anything.

 

**_Princessofpower:_ ** im going too! Nymas a family friend :)

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** hbu shiro

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** I have football practice. You guys be careful!

 

**5:00pm, Monday**

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** guys im at starbucks and guess who I just ran into

 

**_Gordanramsey:_ ** the cute barista with the hoop earrings?

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** nah she has the morning shift

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** who then?

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** none other than keith mothereffin kogane

 

**_Gordanramsey:_ ** you're kidding me!

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** KEITH IS A HIPSTER HAHAHAHAH

 

**_Princessofpower:_ ** Starbucks is not hipster!

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** allura no offense but ive been here 20 min and seen like 8 dudes with goatees and much more girls rockin the hipster aesthetic

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** Katie please don't hit on random girls at Starbucks they might be predators :(

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** chill fam I know how to not get kidnapped

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** :/// okay

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** Back on the Starbucks thing; Keith just started working there the other day! He's saving up for something.

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** something that is probably a murder torture device for me

 

 ** _Gordanramsey:_** Lance chill out dude. He hasn't even talked to you since he moved here.

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** yes he did he asked me for a pencil and I glared at him until he asked someone else

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** you are the picture of courtesy

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** hes probably plotting my murder as we speak

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** hes jealous of me because of how much better than him I was at skate camp

 

**_Lanceylance:_ ** they called me the tailor because of how I threaded the needle

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** im sure no one has ever taken that wrong

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** What are you implying?

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** oh nothing~

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** :////

  
  


**_Pigeon_ ** created a new chat room.

 

**_Pigeon_ ** added  **_Gordanramsey, She-ra,_ ** and  **_Spacedad_ ** to the chat room.

 

**_Pigeon_ ** named the chat room ‘take your bets folks’

  
  


**_Pigeon:_ ** twenty bucks says that lance has a not-so-hetero thing for keith

 

**_Princessofpower:_ ** what makes you say that?

 

**_Gordanramsey:_ ** Lance keeps staring at him in class and I don't know whether he's glaring or imagining their marriage **_._ **

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** probably both

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** Lance does seem like Keith's type.

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** o shit

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** shiro ships klance

 

**_Gordanramsey:_ ** I thought we were calling them Leith?

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** klance just has a better ring to it

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** Klance?

 

**_Princessofpower:_ ** I've learned it's better not to question them.

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** we combined their names together to make a ship name

 

**_Princessofpower:_ ** The question is how are we going to get them to talk?

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** I have an idea.

 

**_Spacedad:_ ** Matchmaker Shiro is in the house.

 

**_Pigeon:_ ** oh gods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh darn a whole ass cliffhanger 
> 
> Comments and kudos motivate me thx babes


	3. In which Keith does not fuck around

**_Spacedad_ **created a new chat room.

 

 **_Spacedad_ ** added **_Pigeon, Gordanramsey, Lanceylance,_ ** and **_Halfandhalf_ **to the chat room.

  


**_Spacedad:_ **I noticed Keith has been brooding more than usual lately, so I made this chat room to try to get him to socialise more! :)

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **uh okay

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ ** Hi! I'm Hunk, I'm in your theater group : _)_

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **youre the big dude, right? i liked ur rendition of stop from mean girls

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **hunk is literally damien tbh

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **anyway im katie from ur geo class but everyone just calls me pidge

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **why?

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **Yeah, you never did tell us why you're called Pidge.

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **because I like pigeons?

 

 **_Spacedad_ ** **:** that's a lie.

 

 ** _Gordanramsey:_ **Spill

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **nooooooo

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Okay so you all know Matt right?

 

 _ **Pigeon:**_ obviously

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **yes.

 

 **_Halfandhalf_ **: he's the long haired dude who comes to our house once in a while right

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Yes.

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **So back when Matt and I were in 7th grade and Katie was in 5th she came to our science fair.

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **And she wanted to go out of the science room but she was too short to reach the handle

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **So naturally, she stared at the door and screamed bitch at it until someone came over

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **that's the literalbest thing ever.

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **But the thing was that she had a major lisp at the time, and everyone thought she was talking about the picture of a pigeon that was near the science room door.

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **pidge no offense but that is literally the funniest shit ever

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **they dont call me badass pidge for nothing

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **I don't think anyone calls you that

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **shhhhhh

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Anyways, Keith!

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **yes

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Lance was telling me about a party going on tonight and I figured you might wanna go.

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **NO

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Lance that's not polite!

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **NOPE NO MULLETS ALLOWED

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **so you must be lance?

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **dont act like you dont remember me

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **i dont….?

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **skate camp!

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **were you the guy who was good at half pipes?

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **no!!!

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **sorry man, i dont remember anyone from skate camp

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **told you sooooo.

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **they called me the tailor!

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **OH MY GLOB

 

 **_Pigeon:_ **did you seriously just say glob

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **TAYLOR???

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **oh my god i cant with this

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **the names lance

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **can you send a picture please its important

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **fuckyou.png

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **oh I remember you now!!!

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **yes we were rivals

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **uh… I dont think so?

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **lance and keith neck and neck dont you remember

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **nobody ever said that

  


**_Halfandhalf_ **created an untitled chatroom

 

 **_Halfandhalf_ ** added **_Spacedad_ **to the chatroom

 

 **_Halfandhalf_ **named the chatroom ‘GAY PANIC’

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **SHIRO HELP

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **What's up?

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **I think Lance was my gay awakening

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **I thought Taylor was your gay awakening

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **wait

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **oh god

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **YOU SEE MY PROBLEM

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **How did you get his name wrong?

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **I dont know but hes back and hes hotter than ever

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **How can I help?

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **i dont know, how did you tell adam you liked him?

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Well after Allura and I broke up, I realised I didn't like girls and I found Adam. He was in my Geometry class, and I spent the entire sophomore year staring at him longingly until he asked me on a date.

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **so what youre saying is that im doomed

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Not necessarily!

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **I'll talk to Lance.

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **if you tell him anything I'm stealing your collection of baseball cards

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **You wouldn't!

 

 **_Halfandhalf_ **: I already took corey seager as leverage

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **I wasn't gonna tell him anything anyway! I was just gonna see if he's bi or something!

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Please put Corey Seager back I paid 80 dollars for him.

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **fine

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **thanks wingman shiro

 

 **_Spacedad_ **created an untitled chatroom

 

 **_Spacedad_ ** added **_Lanceylance_ **to the chatroom

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Hi lance!

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **what's up?

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Nothing much! I just wanted to get to the bottom of this rivalry thing.

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **there's nothing to say but he hated me, I hated him!

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **I think he remembers it differently. Are you sure that he hated you?

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **absolutely

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Hm, okay then.

 

‘Untitled Chatroom’

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **okay on that other note

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **id be up for a party though

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **where at?

 

 **_Gordanramsey:_ **I'll dm you the address.

 

 **_Halfandhalf:_ **thanks

 

 **_Spacedad:_ **Be safe everyone!!!

 

 **8pm, Monday**  

 

 **_Lanceylance:_ **LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED


	4. Whose House Is This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight reference to s8 ahead

**Gordanramsey:** Lance already had like 3 rum and cokes I'm concerned for his safety.

 

**Pigeon:** jeez dude chill out

 

**Gordanramsey:** And Keith disappeared!

 

**Spacedad:** what???

 

**Gordanramsey:** He went to go talk to Rolo from theatre and when I went to check on him he wasn't there.

 

**Lanceylance** : hesss with meeeeeeeee

 

**Lanceylance:** were arm wreslzting 

 

**Gordanramsey:** which room?

 

**Lanceylance:** the ehite ine

 

**Gordanramsey:** THEY'RE ALL WHITE

 

**Pigeon:** sgdufhfu 

 

**Gordanramsey:** I'm just going to check all of them. 

 

**Princessofpower:** They're probably in the master bedroom if it's only them in there. Last door on the left upstairs.

 

**Gordanramsey:** Thanks al!

 

**Princessofpower:** :)

 

**Pigeon:** if u find them please take a picture

 

**Pigeon:** I bet arm wrestling is a euphemism

 

**Lanceylance:** im not GAY

 

**Pigeon:** sure 

 

**Pigeon:** bi though

 

**Pigeon:** thats not off the table

 

**Lanceylance:** i dnt even know what that IS

 

**Halfandhalf:** arm wrestling isnt a euphemism 

 

**Pigeon:** keith r u drunk

 

**Halfandhalf:** no I only had coke minus the rum

 

**Spacedad:** YOU TOOK COCAINE??

 

**Halfandhalf:** no I took cherry coke

 

**Spacedad:** Oh good. 

 

**Spacedad:** take care of lance

 

**Halfandhalf:** im trying but he keeps demanding that we battle it out

 

**Halfandhalf:** as of right now hes shooting me with a nerf gun

 

**Gordanramsey:** You must be special, usually when he's drunk he hits on random girls.

 

**Halfandhalf:** should I shoot him back?

 

**Gordanramsey:** yes but aim for the torso

 

**Halfandhalf** : k

 

**11:30, Monday**

 

**Gordanramsey:** Lance and Keith are currently laying on me.

 

**Gordanramsey:** I think Lance is asleep.

 

**Halfandhalf:** to be fair you're pretty comfy

 

**Gordanramse** y: Shiro can you come pick us up?

 

**Princessofpower:** I think he's asleep. Come downstairs and I'll take you guys home.

 

**Gordanramsey:** Thanks Allura!

 

**Princessofpower:** No problem, it's getting it's getting late anyway.

 

‘GAY PANIC’ 

 

**1 am, Tuesday**

 

**Halfandhalf:** Shiro 

 

**Halfandhalf:** SHIRO

 

**Spacedad:** go to bed

 

**Halfandhalf:** I just got home.

 

**Halfandhalf:** Lance kissed me.

 

**Spacedad:** he did WHAT

 

**Halfandhalf:** after me and hunk dragged him into alluras car he woke up and I sat next to him and we talked for a bit and he apologized for calling me his rival and he stopped talking for a bit and then he kissed me

 

**Spacedad:** How drunk was he? 

 

**Halfandhalf:** still pretty drunk

 

**Spacedad:** He’s home now right?

 

**Halfandhalf:** thats the thing

 

**Spacedad:** oh no

 

**Halfandhalf:** apparently lance told his parents that he was staying at hunks but hunks parents would kill him if they knew that he was around while lance got drunk so long story short hes asleep on my bed

 

**Spacedad:** I love you bro but you're a massive idiot.

 

**Halfandhalf:** i know

 

**Halfandhalf:** hes gonna be pissed in the morning but it's better than him having to face his parents, and it's not like mom and dad are home to yell at us

 

**Spacedad:** I'll drive him home tomorrow. For now get some sleep. Its lucky that tomorrow there's no school or Krolia would have your ass.

 

**Halfandhalf:** dont you mean today 

 

**Spacedad:** Smartass. 

 

‘Me and the Non Straights’

 

**10 PM, Tuesday**

 

**Princessofpower:** I feel like I just died.

 

**Gordanramsey:** I thought you didn't drink?

 

**Princessofpower:** It's more emotional than physical :/

 

**Gordanramsey:** ah

 

‘Untitled Chatroom’

 

**Halfandhalf:** hunk quick question

 

**Gordanramsey:** Yes?

 

**Halfandhalf:** how do i prevent lance from killing me

 

**Lanceylance:** im not going to KILL you im jusst gonna DECK you

 

**Halfandhalf:** what did i do?????

 

**Lanceylance:** I DNOT KNOW YET BUT ONCE I FIN D OUT IM GONNA YANNK OUT YOUR MULLET

 

**Halfandhalf:** its not a mullet

 

**Gordanramsey:** I can clear this up, Lance.

 

**Gordanramsey:** After the party last night you were super drunk, and I couldn’t take you to my house or your house so Keith offered to let you sleep over.

 

**Lanceylance:** i dont remmeber anything from last night

 

**Halfandhalf:** nothing?

 

**Lanceylance:** what partt of “i dont remember anthing from last nigt” do u not understand

 

**Halfandhalf:** can i come out of the bathroom now?

 

**Lanceylance:** okay but youre on thinn ice

 

**Halfandhalf:** how generous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive taken it into my own hands to write good characterization of the voltron characters because lauren and joaquim suck.


	5. Is he Gay or Cuban?

Pigeon: CODE RAINBOW I REPEAT CODE   
RAINBOW IN THE QUAD

Lanceylance: on the way

Halfandhalf: ???? 

Gordanramsey: They have codes for everything. Code rainbow is Pidge spotted a cute girl and needs Lance to be a wingman, or the other way around if Lance sends it.

Halfandhalf: lol

Pigeon: false alarm it was a mannequin

Lanceylance: pidge what the fuck

Pigeon: they look like humans from behind shut up

Pigeon created an Untitled Chatroom

Pigeon added Lanceylance to the chatroom

Pigeon named the chatroom ‘the elephant in the room’

Lanceylance: where

Pigeon: its a metaphor you dumbass

Lanceylance: ur the dumbass you dumbass

Pigeon: whos the one who has all ap classes?

Lanceylance: shiro

Pigeon: yeah true

Pigeon: anyway im here to talk to you about sexuality

Lanceylance: oh no i hate when u turn into professor pidge

Pigeon: fuck off im helping you

Lanceylance: im straight as a goddamn ruler there are you happy

Pigeon: doubt

Lanceylance: what

Pigeon: do you remember new years eve 2017?

Lanceylance: i remember getting shitfaced drunk and waking up in bow recculas front lawn

Pigeon: so you dont remember sucking face with one Callum Katolis?

Lanceylance: you’re pulling my leg

Lanceylance: callum ???????????????????????

Lanceylance: KATOLIS??????

Lanceylance: I MADE OUT WITH PRINCIPAL HARROWS SON??????????????????

Lanceylance: I MADE OUT WITH A GUY????????????????

Pigeon: uh huh

Lanceylance: and youw aited this long to tell me why?????????????????????????

Pigeon: cause its funny as fuck 

Lanceylance: I hate you so much right now

Pigeon: its not my fault you become casanova when youre drunk

Lanceylance: is this why he keeps looking at me weird in algebra??????????

Pigeon: prolly

Lanceylance: oh god

Lanceylance: pidge

Lanceylance: i was drunk last night

Pigeon: so ive heard

Lanceylance: did I do something with keith?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Pigeon: I dont think so

Lanceylance: is that why I woke up in his house??????

Pigeon: just read the group chat if youre so bugged about it

‘Untitled Chatroom’

Lanceylance: i shot keith with a nerf gun?

Halfandhalf: yes it hurt

Pigeon: wimppppppp

Lanceylance: and thats all that happened

Halfandhalf: uh 

Spacedad: yes

Lanceylance: alright that's good

Pigeon: respond to the other chat or ill pee ur pants

Lanceylance: give me a minute woman goddamn


End file.
